Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
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