It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
