Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
