doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
