where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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