i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
