Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
