I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He felt like a one man threesome
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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