Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
