it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize