When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
