brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
