No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
