the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
