He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize
