Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I just found a bag of teeth...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
