It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
