This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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