I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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