Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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