I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm too high and old for this...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
