We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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