She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
