He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
