none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
from now on my penis is your penis
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
