At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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