maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
