I wish my penis had an off switch
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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