a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
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