I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
