I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
