I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Dear god my vagina.
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