yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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