Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
