Midget sex pt 2 tonight
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
