You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
