dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
