Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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