I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
