that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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