sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize