yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
