i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
