I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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