After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize