I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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