Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
