Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
bring money and cleavage
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize