Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
