belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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