everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
this will be a night to untag.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
