i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
