yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
