Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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