and you said cock pushups were impossible
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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