O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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