Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
where am i from again
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize