The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
