before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
