Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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