yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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