does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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