nutella sex= disaster
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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