Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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