God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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