My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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