we're chasing vodka with high fives
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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