They should really pass out barf bags in church
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
