I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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