So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
